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3 Reasons Why You Should Not Pressure Yourself Into Marriage
Relationships

3 Reasons Why You Should Not Pressure Yourself Into Marriage

written by Yetunde

There is a lot to be said for external pressure to find a man or woman to settle down with.

When your parents are not bothering you, it is your friends forming a pressure group on your case. The wrongness of this needless exercise has been pointed out over and over again, particularly in this opinion piece here.

What doesn’t get enough attention is self pressure to marry. Of course it’s a mental conditioning that comes as an offshoot of society’s stance on marrying early, or at some certain ‘acceptable’ age.

 

But just as pressure from external sources is wrong, so is pressure that has been internalised- and here are reasons why:

1.      Only you are in charge of your life

When it comes down to the crux of it, only you have the control over your decisions and while there are influences outside that could determine the things that you decide to do, the decision to be or not to be, to move or not to move, to leap or not to, and of course, to marry or not, it all boils down to you.

So why would you want to put yourself under this undue pressure?

2.   There’s time on your side

We cannot say this enough – time is on your side! Marrying at 30 or above is not a symptom of failure. Marrying at 25 is not a guarantee of a happiness that surpasses your wedding day. Jangling biological clocks are not ticking as loudly as they make you think. It’s all a ruse to get you to conform to what society think is right. And while that may have its merits and actually work for some people, it does not mean it will for you.

You’re doing just fine by yourself. No need to change that when the right person has not come around just yet.

 

3.   You may end up settling for trash

By setting yourself in a race against time, you are increasing the possibility of settling for what is less than ideal.

Matter of fact, you may end up with actual trash. Why leave your life now just so you can be joint at the hip to a pile of gabbage?

It is better to wait for the one, no matter how long it takes. It may sound alien, but it is the truth. If your expectations are healthy and reasonable and no one looks to be matching up to it just yet, wait for it. It’ll happen and you’ll be happy you did wait.

Better that than settling for something that’ll rob you of your peace of mind in the long run.

Culled from Pulse Weddings

January 29, 2019 0 comment
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13 Signs He’s Husband Material
Relationships

13 Signs He’s Husband Material

written by Yetunde

Marriage is a huge step and you always want to be sure he is going to be the perfect husband for you. There are definitely signs which will put your mind at rest and here are the ones which will make you certain he is the right man for the job. These are all things which you can take into consideration when your writing your wedding vows!

 

1. He asked you to marry him. What better proof of love than the commitment to spend the rest of his life with you – if that’s not proving yourself, we don’t know what is.

2. He shows you how much he appreciates you. When the planning gets too stressful, he’ll be waiting at the door when you get home, with a lovely meal, glass of wine and hot bath (for you). Just what the wedding doctor ordered!

3. He brags about you. Hearing him tell friends he can’t wait to marry you never gets old. It’s always a nice feeling hearing your other half shining you with compliments when you’re not even supposed to be listening.

4. He’ll always find you beautiful. Despite several dress panics, he’s always there to reassure you, saying you’d look beautiful even wearing a bin bag – although you definitely won’t be walking down the aisle in a big bag!

5. He indulges your guilty pleasures. Even if it means watching 27 Dresses for the tenth time, or the eleventh, or the twelfth. It’s all part of the husband job list.

6. He knows when to put his foot down. As much as you hate being told you’re wrong, you need someone to tell you sometimes, and you respect him for it.

7. He’s respectful of his mum. You can tell a lot by how a man treats the women around him, and he would do anything for his mum. This is also a great way to see someone’s level of respect for other people and is a great indicator that he will not only make a perfect husband, but also a great dad one day, maybe.

8. He respects your need for ‘me’ time. As much as you love him, sometimes you just need an evening with the girls, and he’s totally ok with that. It gives him time to hang with his friends too and this is key to a healthy and long lasting marriage.

9. He lets you pick the wedding theme. Even if it is all pastels and Disney, he doesn’t care, because it’s what makes you happy. He will embrace those Mickey Mouse ears if he has to, because you are his future wife and that’s what husbands do.

10. He doesn’t judge you. Even when you’re crying over napkin colours and table plans which is a totally legit bridezilla moment and he totally understands.

11. He’s an excellent problem solver. You can totally count on him to tell the photographer he’s overcharging you, or get the caterer to change the menu. Taking charge of situations like this make him the perfect planning partner for your wedding and it keeps him involved too.

12. He’s trustworthy. You have absolutely no worries about him having a wild stag do, because you know he would never do anything to disrespect you. You know your man, and he will probably drink too much and fall asleep before all the fun starts anyway – that’s your boy.

13. You’re on the same wavelength. You might not agree on the pink decor, but you both want the same things: a great time with your family and friends and to spend the rest of your lives together. These are the important things to agree on, the little things don’t matter.

Your groom will make for the perfect husband, you decided to marry him and the level of commitment that takes proves that you make a great couple.

 

Source: hitched.co.uk

June 4, 2018 0 comment
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Adekunle & Adesewaa met at the Church! Here’s their Inspiring Love Story
Relationships

Adekunle & Adesewaa met at the Church! Here’s their Inspiring Love Story

written by Yetunde

Bride: 
I knew Adekunle from a distance in the Children Church I attended while growing up. His younger sister, Adesewa and I were most times taken to Boarding House together (FGGC ipetumodu and FGC Ikirun). This brought Adekunle and I more closer. His zeal for God’s work was really superb and this led to the discipleship he started in ensuring my Walk with Our Father was sound. He would give me books to read as well as his Posh phone then to listen to Messages while I gave him my Palasa or he stays without any phone ???. What a selfless man he is.
He was always checking up on me when I got admission to OAU Pre Degree program then. He also gave timely, helpful and Godly Counsels when I had numerous advances from my male pals.  He was my time keeper especially during my medical school exams (400 level in particular).

My roommates especially Udeme were always teasing me that ‘Was He the one?’ I bluntly faced her that he was JUST a Big brother, no strings attached ??.  My guardian, Dr Adedigba also asked me several times if he was the one, I said NO, WE WERE JUST FRIENDS, no strings attached.
Several of our young friends in church asked if we were dating or in a relationship, I told them NO, WE WERE JUST FRIENDS (no strings attached).  My mom and Tofee, my younger brother weren’t left out; my reply to them as well was NO, WE WERE JUST FRIENDS (no strings attached).

I then knew I had to take caution of people thinking I was in a relationship when I wasn’t.
So afterwards I called Adekunle and informed him that we needed to DEFINE our Big Brother -Friend relationship. I never wanted to assume we were dating while he had no thought of that. So he replied that I was just a younger Sister turned friend to Him.  I ensured his reply was valid through several tests #winks, that’s a story for another day.
I told him bluntly that we needed to stop this Big Brother -Friend Relationship, so that I can hear God clearly when He speaks as touching my marital relationship. So we parted and went our various ways. No more calls, no more SMS.

Our individual work in God’s vineyard will not permit us to be so far from each other; even leading a Duet self; Imela by Nathaniel Bassey #if u know u know??????

So I gladly walked as a Final Year Student, who was Single, not searching as I faced my Project work. I prayed at several relationship meetings that I attended on who God would give me to as an Help meet.
Another friend of ours, Seun Oriade was our Confidant on either angle #☺. I received a leading it was Adekunle but I refused him, saying how will I marry my one time Big brother and Friend. Seun reminded me that I wasn’t going to marry an enemy either ??.  Dolapo Abe wasn’t helping matters too. She was like shebi it’s Adekunle o, so I called her attention to Kunle not proposing, abi is it me that will now go and say will u marry me to a Brother? Hian!!! ???. So I patiently waited from 2013-2014 before Adekunle came o.

That’s K self, always showing himself. He proposed on a Sunday, a day after Big Sister Lola’s introduction; Spiritual man??. I told him I was going to pray. I knew my answer was YES, but I wanted to be Seriously sure. So I took 1 more month out in seeking God’s face and Finally gave a response, YES, few days after His birthday. All of which was in line with Counseling from our Individual Pastors. Thanks To Pastor Onagwa and Revd Mike Adeyanju; God bless your ministries and homes Sirs. AMEN.

Groom: 
Hmmmmm……. Loading………….

Here we are several months afterwards, walking together with God as our Leader, Guide, Counselor and Discipler since 2014.

THANK YOU JESUS CHRIST FOR THE JOURNEY THUS FAR.
Imela Imela, Okaka
Onyekeruwa, Imela, Imela, Eze m oh????????
ALLELUIA, ITS ALL ABOUT YOU JESUS AS YOU ARE IN THE CENTER OF IT ALL

May 11, 2018 0 comment
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